My thoughts, Parenting, Personal, Philosophy, Well being, Writing

I Miss You Monu!

Recently I have been missing my dear cat Monu a lot more than usual. It was his 1 year death anniversary a few days ago, probably that’s why. I know that most of you will think, ‘ come on, he was just a cat,’ not to me, to me he was my dearest, closest, truest friend.

He came to us at the end of Dec 2020, and he was so cute and small, he was just 3 days old! A cat had given birth in my cousin’s apartment, but sadly nobody in the litter including the mom had survived, except him. Because my cousin’s family had a dog, it was dangerous for them to keep the little kitten, so they gave him to us. In the starting he needed to be fed every few hours. I still remember for the first one month we used to wake up every night to feed him. 

For the first few weeks he just slept, and he was so cuddly, he used to love to snuggle. But we were new with cats, thus we were a bit hesitant, so we built a bed for him, lined it with a heating pad and a few blankets, and he slept there. Now I wish I had snuggled him as much as I could every opportunity I got.  

When he got a little bigger and a little stronger, he started playing. He used to look so cute running around the house, room to room. It was so simple, playing with him then we used to play a lot. We used to crumple up pieces of paper, or tie up a handkerchief in the shape of a ball, and throw it around the house. He used to love it, he would go chasing after it, jumping trying to catch it. We would call them “ चूहे “ which is the hindi term for mice, because he would try catching it, and attempt to kill it after. In the beginning he would bring it back after catching it, as if to tell us to throw it again!

When he got a bit older we started taking him out, just in the apartment. He liked it a lot, and he never ran away, we never used a leash. He used to just wander around us, sniff the plants, and sit under the shade. It was really hard bringing him back up though, we had to take a badminton racket so we could bang it on the floor to scare him, and he would come running back up. He knew the way home. In fact, one day when I was meditating, I heard scratching and whining outside the door, I opened the door to see Monu trying to open the door. Apparently he had somehow managed to reach the ground floor from our balcony, and he had come straight back up!

When my tournaments started, and I got busy, I started spending less time with him. I would play, and take him out rarely. Definitely, there was a bit of selfishness involved, 

I was not doing great in chess, I was lacking, losing, in a slump. So I just practiced a lot, and I was a bit demotivated so I started wasting a bit of time, but no time cannot be afforded to waste, so guess from where did I compensate? My time with Monu, the biggest mistake of my life. Bigger than all the chess blunders I have made and will ever make.

All this time though I was not spending with him, I knew he missed me, he had started becoming lethargic, eating more, he used to sit by the window and stare out for hours. 

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I guess my biggest mistake was thinking there will be a tomorrow; I will play with him tomorrow, I will spend time with him tomorrow, Monu will be here tomorrow he ain’t going anywhere. Well there is no tomorrow now is there? 

I don’t think there was a tomorrow ever, even if there was it didn’t matter. One day, 30 days, 45 years, it’s all too small to make a difference, it is the same. What matters is making use of every moment we have with them. 

After he died, I didn’t feel sad about the fact I only had one year with him, what I regretted the most was not making use of every opportunity I had with him to make memories, to play, to be with him. 

This is what Monu taught me, amongst the many other things he did. Thank you so much Monu for teaching me this valuable lesson, and being a part of my life. 

My favorite moments with him were, sometimes when I was practicing chess, he would just come scatter about all the pieces on the board, spoil the position, stand in the center, and just flop down! Like right there, and just look at me like “hey, I am sitting here now, that cool?” Me, I would love it.  

My thoughts, Personal, Philosophy

ध्यान क्या है?

एक दिन मैं अपनी माँ से शिकायत कर रही थी जैसा कि आमतौर पर बच्चे करते हैं। मैं कॉलेज की छुट्टियों में घर वापस आ गयी थी । मेरा काम का बोझ बढ़ रहा था, और मैं इसे ठीक से मैनेज नहीं कर पा रही थी , इसलिए मैं थोड़ा तनाव में थी। मैं बस ये सब अपनी माँ को बता रही थी “कोई काम नहीं हो रहा है” “मैं मैनेज नहीं कर पा रही हूँ”। फिर मेरी माँ ने अचानक थोड़े जोर से कहा “आओ यहाँ बैठो, ध्यान से देखो, मैं तुम्हें दिखाती हूँ कि काम कैसे किया जाता है।” फिर उनहोने एक कटोरी में गाढ़ा सरसों का तेल लिया और खाली बजाज आलमंडल आयल की बोतल ली। उस शीशी के उपर ऐक छोटा सा छेद था, जैसे जयादतर केशमार्जन शीशीओ के ढकनो में होता है। जिसने भी कोशिश की है उसे पता है की इसके माध्यम से अंदर पानी डालना भी नामुम्किन के बराबर है। मेरी माँ ने देकते-देकते वह कटोरी उठाई और वो गारा सरसौ का तेल एक ही धारा में उस छेद के अंदर दाल दिया। में शब्दहीन रहे गया, एक बूंद भी इदर-उदर नहीं हाई थी। फिर मेरी माँ ने कहा ” यह, ऐसे होता है कोई भी काम, इस एकाग्रता से, और इसे ही ध्यान कहते है।

My thoughts, Personal

Made a New Friend 

Today is the perfect day to stay at home and read a good book. Cool post rain breezes blow through my window in this lazy afternoon. 

My companion on this great day is “Like the Flowing River” by Paulo Coelho. Which is a collection of short stories and articles by the author.  The one that got me the most though, was “Pianist in the Mall. ” 

A short summary – One day Paulo Coelho and his friend, an international violinist, were walking in a mall, where they came across a pianist. Who was playing a piece by Mozart, devoid of all those around him, completely lost in ecstasy. Even though no one was watching him, he was playing so beautifully, they both had tears in their eyes.

The pianist taught me a very important lesson:- To always give our best, devoid of all other people’s opinions and circumstances.

Personal

For the View

Our first long trip alone is a big prospect. As we grow the definition of long changes- going to the grocery store down the street, taking the city bus alone, and traveling Inter-city. 

Today I had the longest solo trip of my life, From Bengaluru to Ahmedabad(1552 Km), but it is only 2 hour from flight. 

Yet I was so tensed out, not about the pre-boarding procedures but about the fact once I am on the plane there is no turning back. In just 2 hours I am in a strange place far from the people I call home, all alone. Plus there is always a margin for accidents, my luggage bag may get lost or my aunt might not be able to pick me up. But I also know if any of these situations do arise, I will be able to handle them. 

Stepping out of my comfort zone made me more confident and gave me an opportunity to grow. I attained courage and belief in myself which I would have hardly found anywhere else. So step outside of your comfort zone today and tell me what it brought you.

Personal

Repotting My Plant

My creeper was growing really well, So I decided it was time for it to move into a bigger pot. Now I must mention I had done nothing like this before, though I had a little bit of an idea because the guy in the nursery had tried to teach me how. So, I knew a few basic stuff. 

First I started off by choosing a pot, but the soil in it had gone completely dry and hard. So, I poured water when that didn’t work I turned it around and poured water from the bottom. Finally the soil came out and I transported it to yet another pot. Now, I separated the soft mud and the dry mud(which I kept for later use. After filling the pot about 3/4ths I mixed in a little compost. Then finally I added the Cocopeat, now we are all go for the final step. Miraculously and with great difficulty I managed to shift the plant in one piece. And this is the Final result.

please tell me how it is looking. 

One reason that I wrote about this was because after many days I broke the routine and tried something new. And it made me feel really happy and satisfied. As my favorite saying goes:- “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” My answer as of 1 month before would have been “ I don’t remember!”, what is your answer? Please tell me in the comment section below. See you there!